Pt.2 Sean Patrick Flanery is going to HELL, the intended bludgeoning of Andy Duncan, and last nights dream.
Another thing I’ve found while traversing this world, is that most people haven’t a clue as to what to do with their lives… but they all want another that will last forever.
So, I hope you’re still listening… okay, sorry, that was rude. You’ve always listened. You know, I think I even told you last time, but I can never sleep when I’m running this memory through my head. I just can’t, not until I get it all out. Then, when I’m done, the sleep comes. It’s more like an exhaustive sleep though. Well, last night was no different. I feel like I fell asleep about 50 times, all in tiny little 5 minute increments. 50 small 5 minute naps, all containing the same thing. You see, I had 50 dreams, and…
…Last night, I dreamt that I was an atom bomb. I was paralyzed at about 40,000 feet in the sky, just hovering. But the earth was coming for me at an ungodly rate of closure… and I knew I would never get out of it’s way.
We are all products of our collected life experiences. Some we are proud of, and some we are ashamed of. But all… we must learn from.
I have no idea how Brian knew exactly where Andy’s house was, but he walked straight down the golf cart path at an almost jogging pace. As we were walking I saw a bright red golf cart that was made to look like a Rolls Royce parked at a little snack shack in-between the 9th and 10th holes. There was an obese man sitting behind the wheel talking to the snack shack attendant. He had on a blue alligator shirt with orange stains smeared all over the front. As we neared, I saw that he was eating Cheeto’s, and after every bite, he would wipe his hands on the front of his shirt. I don’t know why, but in that very moment, just briefly, I hated that man. Then, just as we passed him, he stopped talking, looked right at me, and turned up the volume of his little in-dash stereo. He looked at me, and I could tell that he knew, with absolute certainty, what I was about to do. This is what was playing on his radio as I my legs took me closer and closer to the Duncan residence, and slowly out of that man’s gaze.
This is that song: Click HERE!!!!
I still see that fat man occasionally. Sitting. Watching.
IN MOST CASES IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MUCH WE “TAKE” FROM LIFE. WHAT’S MORE IMPORTANT IS THE RATIO OF “TAKING” TO “GIVING”. BUT… IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT THE “GIVING” WINS BY A LANDSLIDE.
We arrived at Andy’s house and Brian rang the front doorbell. He rang it again. Nothing. Inside, I rejoiced. Then, Brian said, “come on, let’s go around the back”. My heart sank. We walked all the way around to the back of his house, as it was right on the golf course with no fence to impede the view. The back of the house had a big sliding glass door that hid nothing of the kitchen and living room. Brian knocked. Then he knocked harder. Finally, Andy’s mother came down the stairs and upon seeing us, broke into a grin whose image has burned itself onto the back of my eyelids. She flung open the sliding glass door and said “hello!!”. Brian immediately asked if Andy was home. And then, the impossible happened. The grin turned into a full on smile. It was a smile that I recognized from my own parents faces. It was the smile of pride. Pride at the realization that “cool kids” were finally coming to visit her son. It was at that very moment that my heart shriveled up to the size of a small sun dried raisin, and I knew I was going to hell.
Well, I should really try and get some sleep, even if I know the dream’s coming back. I’ll have to finish this later. If you didn’t already know the ending, I’d keep going. But, you’ve heard this whole story before and you’ve never left me, so I imagine I’ve made all the necessary adjustments. Thanks, by the way. We’ll talk again tomorrow.
Good night, and I’ll SHINE… until tomorrow.
-Me
Stay strong. You’ll get through tonight, and you’ll shine tomorrow, and that’s when you’ll have a chance to make better choices.
Good Night and God Bless Sean! love you! xo
Thank you for sharing your memories, the good and the struggles.
Sean, yet again u prove that moments in life change us forever. Your dream seems like a release to me, an explosion of letting go and it rushing at u at an incredible speed. You inspire me daily Sean, you are an amazing man…thank u for sharing.
@staabch1
mr flanery, ur story is wonderful! even if its only a dream ! i think dreams are great storys. i hav had a few myself. hav sweet dreams and GOD bless u! :
OH NO!! Not again. I don’t know the ending. This is the first time I’ve heard the story. I’ll check in again tomorrow.
Me too, I want to know…
Do you believe the line in S&S when Johnny’s character says you can’t make up for the things you wish you’d never done? That stuck with me. I’ve always wondered if I’ve made up for the bad I’ve done.
Is this a test?
Histories of ages past
Unenlightened shadows cast
Down through all eternity
The crying of humanity
‘Tis then when the hurdy gurdy man
Comes singing songs of love
Then when the hurdy gurdy man
Comes singing songs of love
I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of too, I’ve found although I make constant living amends I can still see that look in a person’s eye like it was yesterday. In it the realization I’ve caused a soul hurt and in so doing I’ve injured my own soul in turn. I hope you find peace in your next sleep brother, so that you may see the path the Man upstairs has laid out for you. I’ll pray on that for you and me both. Peace.
Another beautiful insight into your life. You are a sweet and honest caring man don’t ever change! Thank you for letting us in…..sleep tight and have sweet dreams! ♥
I can guess what the ending is, as I am one of the few that havent heard it before. But rather than guess, I will wait for the conclusion because if nothing else, telling us about it helps you feel better and lets you get that much needed sleep. Good Night Sean and hopefully a sweet dream or 2 tonight xoxoxo
Stay strong, my friend… I’ve been there with the restless nights full of bad dreams. It’s rough, but I know you’ll get through this (again). I really appreciate your openness in telling this story. Looking forward to hear the rest. And I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk more. It’s the least I can do. Try and get some sleep. I’ll do the same. xx
I feel like a dodo! I have not heard the story before and I cannot wait to hear the rest of it! I’m tempted to go look it up online, but I think I shall wait until tomorrow. I hope you sleep better. I want you to know that in the short time I have been a big time admirer of yours (I came late to the realization of your awesomeness, sorry 😉 ) I believe you to be an amazing soul. One who inspires others to see their inner champion. You are hilarious, charismatic, extremely talented both as an actor, an athlete and a writer. I so wish we could’ve gotten into this much longer when I met you in Vancouver. I didn’t want to hog you all to myself! My journey is one of constant forgiveness both for others and for myself. This is something I believe we must practice daily in order to truly learn and grow. You’re amazing and I look forward to more from you! XO
I certainly hope that tonight is a better night for you. And that you’re able to sleep and have less troubling dreams. We all make choices in life that we’re not proud of, decisions that we wish we could go back and change. But it’s those mistakes that help make us who we are. You are a fine example of a human being, an inspiration to everyone struggling with some decision that’s been made, or yet to be made. Thank you for showing us your human side. Makes me appreciate you even more.
I sure hope and pray you find peace and sleep tonight. Thanks for sharing with us. 😉 Donna @Donna_Mc86
We’re not going anywhere Sean, you’re always there for us, and we will always be here for you. I wish I could sing to you. Give you a few moments peace. Sleep well and carry on wayward son 🙂 We love you.
Thanks for sharing your memories.
Met you at the Calgary Expo and thought you were great! Such a fun visit.
Will keep reading as long as you write.
A request? Some Young Indy stories!!
I need to know where this is going? Perhaps reach out and say sorry. If he can’t forgive then forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. We learn from them and God forgives those who are truly sorry. Sweet dreams my friend.
Ooh, you’re mean. Now that creepy man will be invading my dreams. To make it even more creepy I swear I have a pic of my bro that looks identical to that one of you. Very cool song though. Frantically awaiting part III. Until then, sweet dreams
Have you tried meditating? It’s harder than it sounds, I can’t meditate to save my life, but it does clear the mind and make you focus on being at peace. The form I know is for children but its still pretty hard, you have to start with a flower pot and imagine yourself filling the pot with soil and growing a flower, once the flower is grown your meditation is done. If your thoughts get interrupted you have to start back at the beginning. Maybe you’ll try it and if you do I hope it helps, if not you might fall asleep trying 🙂 good night Sean, much love -Rae
Ah,the follies of our own youth.We,who were so easily lead down paths we knew not to.I am finding myself reflecting on the not so bright things I allowed myself to do by following others.
Your a very wise & strong man Sean. So inspirational & devotional. We all love you & God bless. Shine….Until Tomorrow!!!! xoxo
Dear Sean Patrick!
Thanks so much to sharing your memories !
Stay that you are : human, enthousiasm !
You are brave !
God Bless you and have a nice dreams ! 🙂
While others forgive, it takes longer to forgive ourselves. Eventually all nightmares will become dreams. God Bless & Namaste. xx
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
– Buddha
If that doesn’t help don’t worry. I will rule the Hell one day anyway so you will be under my protection 🙂
I was one of the bullied in school. Too shy and self conscious to fight back or talk back I would just take it. Made school a living hell BUT I don’t blame the people that hurt me way back then, when I think back I realize that they were just kids trying to do the best they could. I have made mistakes in my life that have hurt people. There is nobody walking this earth that can say that they have never hurt someone else before by making a mistake. It’s what makes us human, it’s how we learn to be better people. I have had so much more wrong inflicted on me than I ever put out into the universe and I often ask why. It’s just a lesson that has to be learned, the path I was set on. You were also a child and as children the most important thing is to feel accepted. I see it with my son and it saddens me. He wants to change his likes/dislikes to match other children. I try to explain that he needs to be who he is and not worry about what others do, but it’s the yearning for acceptance that is so overpowering. I hope that you can get past this and be able to sleep soundly and forgive yourself. You are human and it’s so terrific you shared that with all of us. Thank you and stay strong xoxoxo
This makes me sad.
It’s the first time I’ve heard this story (read the first part of this, too, of course). I’m no good with words but I do want to even try to comfort you by saying something…
Don’t judge yourself so hardly, we all make mistakes and as you mentioned – we must learn from all we do whether it’s right or wrong – and I believe you follow that ‘rule’.
Sometimes bad memories/dreams come to haunt us but we have to let them go at least for a while, like, even if they ‘re going to come back at some point. But see, if you’re worrying 24/7 then life ain’t getting more enjoyable and neither will the sleep come.
Be strong, get some sleep. Know there are people for you (as you said at some point it makes you feel a bit better telling this kind of stuff) and shine “until tomorrow” as you tell your listeners to.
Relieved to see I am not the only one who doesn’t know how this story ends. I do hope that you continue with Part 3. Closure is very important on such journeys. And by that I mean, I am dying to know the end. 🙂
I think we all have defining moments like this in life. More than often, they are moments when we have been less than our shining selves. Yet still, each is just another thread in the entire tapestry that is to be our life. Worn threads and shiny threads all woven together into one imperfect and beautiful self portrait. Which might just suggest that the mistakes we make say less about who we are……and so much more about who we will become.
Rest well.
Our experiences, good and bad, successes and failures, are what mold and shape us into the people we are today – and you, my dear sir, are a wonderful, thoughtful, caring, giving person. We love you not despite of but because of your past – because it made you who you are.
Oh come on….I haven’t heard the story before…sure lure me in and leave me guessing…Love it…just tell the rest of the story…or I can just use my imagination….either way it’s good…
No one gets out of here alive, or unscathed. It’s the memories that leave a mark on us, whether good or bad, that make us who we are.
Dear Sean!! I really hope you know we’re here for you, as you’ve been here for us in our weakest hour, to help us through it!. I’ve haven’t read this story before so thank you for sharing with us. From time to time past events come back to haunt us in many ways, dreams are one of them, they tend to appear to tell us about something we left unfinished. I know we can’t change the past but, as you often tell us, we have the power to change the present. Just a random though, maybe if it’s possible, you should try to contact Andy or write him a letter to tell him about all these memories. I truly believe our life jouney help us become who we are today, and you’re a beautiful, caring and giving person. I would love to hear more of your story. Much love and hope you’re having nice dreams tonight
I have never been able to sleep consistently. I’ve had “dreams” I wish I could convey in the way that you do. I’m not even sure I’d call them ” dreams” anymore.
Just a fragmented , ugly beautiful, cold, and warm confusing sub reality, They are often more real, then my actual life.
My mother tried therapy at a young age ( 7 I believe),I rejected the Idea. It’s to comfortable, I enjoy it.
-Liz
-Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
Edgar Allan Poe